John's Comicon Adventure
by psychoTrickstah
Summary: John Egbert's Internet friend, Jade Harley, has invited him to a Comicon at which he will meet 2 other friends of Jade's and make some memories of this peculiar day. Humanstuck::JohnDave::DirkJake::GamKar::KanRose::e tcccc
1. Chapter 1

**AN: tis my first fanfic! i hope dat chu enjoy, my chums**!

FanFiction~(alternate universe::humanstuck::young beta kids/older alpha kids::DirkJake JohnDave KanRose etc)

CHAPTER ONE==

You are John Egbert, and today is like THE MOST EXCITING DAY OF YOUR LIFE. Today you are going to meet Jade Harley, your Internet friend, at a Comicon- and SHE'S BRINGING TWO MORE PEOPLE TO MEET. You can barely contain yourself, and your older cousin can barely contain herself, too. Jane is such an overreacter sometimes, and you hope she will not embarrass you in front of Jade and her other friends. You are going as an adventurer from one of your favorite movies: Indiana Jones. Jane says you look "rather gay", but you like this outfit a lot. It doesn't matter what your wacky cousin says. But maybe... You do look a little... Kinda... Maybe it's the skin tight shorty shorts that were probably made for girls. Or this button up shirt that is missing some buttons. Or all that put together with the whip. Okay. Yeah. You look pretty gay. But whatever, it's not like Jade or her friends probably have anything against gay people. Not that your'e gay, your motto is "No homo". Well, that's just something you have to say to people a lot.

"Let's go, John!" Jane calls you from the car. You hurry downstairs and grab your special bunny on the way down.

Jumping into the shotgun seat, you quickly buckle up and clutch Casey to your chest as Jane backs out of the driveway.

"Well, is Jade nice?" Jane asks absently when they reach the highway. You look up at her.

"Yeah! She's very thoughtful and sincere. I'm sort of jealous about of how, like, creative she is." You answer. "I swear we're like twins, though! I've seen pictures of her and she looks almost just like me, only with big green eyes instead of blue, and really long beautiful hair... But she has tan skin."

Jane laughs. "And you're whiter than vanilla ice cream!" You pout childishly.

"I try to get tan, Jane. I sunbath and wear no shirt all the time, and all I do is burn."

"Well. I do hope you don't burn with those shorts on...that would be a ridiculous tan line- or shall I say, burn line." She ruffled his hair with a free hand, keeping one on the wheel and propping her knee up to help steer.

A few minutes later, you reach the Seattle convention center. Flocks of cosplayers are gathered around the doors and there appear to be many more inside. You can see a definite difference in the groups: the anime cosplayers, the steampunks, the Sci-Fis, and the movie lovers. Everyone has such great outfits, and that makes pretty nervous to get out of the car because of the items you are wearing. Nevertheless, you are eager to greet Jade and her friends, so you begin scanning the crowds, adjusting your glasses with your middle finger up the bridge of your nose.

"Hey, are you getting out or what?" Jane flicks your ear through the open shotgun window. You jolt to attention.

"Hey!" You rub the spot she flicked. "That stung." You swing open the door to the little blue Honda and get out, adjusting your shorts and attempting to look dignified. Instead, you look really gay. Jane laughs as you make a face and try to rid yourself of a wedgie. It happens. You shrug and pray silently that you will not attract any unwanted attention.

You go over the instructions that Jade gave you. "Look for me near the furries... I'll be with a large white dog and two blonde kids."

You gulp. Jane stares. The crowds shift constantly, like a pool of water that has just been disturbed by some rocks thrown by a little boy.

You search for the familiar face of your cyberbuddy in the crowd, and upon realizing she is most likely inside, you grab Jane's hand and pull her through the masses. She stumbles over her own feet and yelps, but you don't slow down. You are too frightened of people seeing your outfit and making mean comments, or worse, catcalls or something of the sort. That kind of thing really scares you.

Once you get to the door, you cautiously enter the building with a dramatic feeling in your stomach. Jane peers around, questioning the dress of some cosplayers and you shush her nervously. Just then, a girl about your height jumps at you from behind.

"JOHN! You made it!" Jade Harley glomps you with all the force of a tornado on a prairie. You, Dorothy, are swept away on the back of it and fall right on your butt. Jade pulls you up and then pinches your cheeks.

"You are so paaaalle!" You try to answer but cannot due to the fact your cheeks are being stretched like silly putty and Jade is waving you around like the wind blows a dead cornstalk. Her strength surprises you greatly, and once she calms down, you pat her shoulders and take a deep breath.

"I'm glad to see you, too... Oh, this is Jane Crocker, my cousin." You smile at her and Jade looks at Jane with an expression of wonder and distaste on her face, then shrugs and glomps Jane too. "Nice to meet you, Jane!"

Jane looks scared.

A blonde girl who has been watching the scene from afar comes closer and addresses you.

"Hello, I'm Rose Lalonde... You are John, I presume? It's nice to finally make your acquaintance; I've heard about you a lot from Jade." Rose has an attractive smile and looks wise beyond her years. She adjusts her purple headband and swings one end of her green-and-black Slytherin scarf over her shoulder. Her black robe billows out behind her and gives her a mysterious look. She smiles that charming smile and you find yourself wondering what her mother looks like.

"We've been waiting on Dave for a while now; I wish he would just move his lazy ass and get over here. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want us chasing him down and he especially doesn't want us seeing/meeting his bro." Rose sounds annoyed yet nonchalant about this Dave's failure to show up. Jade giggles.

"Dave just likes showing up fashionably late. He's such a girl!"

Rose nodded, a small smile tugging up the corners of her lips. "He's going to be wearing something semi-stupid and listening to his own voice warble into his ears through expensive headphones that work no better than regular earbuds but look 'soooo much cooler'..."

"And then he'll say something like"-at this, Jade struck a pose like she was leaning against a wall-" 'fancy seeing you here, children' in a really sarcastic voice and then paste a fake smile on his face that turns into an 'ironic' smirk." Jade laughed and threw her arms around your neck again. "You're gonna love Dave."

You are so happy right now, and somehow you get the feeling your mood is only going to improve with the arrival of Dave.

"I am so friggin happy I got the chance to meet you here, Jade. And Rose, you have a pretty smile."

Rose allows herself a tiny grin at that, giving her eyes a mischievous glint and Jade squeezes you tightly.

In this moment, you really are happy...but you find yourself wandering to the topic of where Jade's large white dog is. You love dogs.

**AN:I hope you liked it! Next chapter is in Dave's perspective and we meet more peeps!**

**==LOV3**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2woooooo==

You push your sunglasses up your nose with your middle finger, subtley flipping off your bro. He notices but says nothing. He's too fucking cool to even blink in the face of abhorrent acts such as flipping one off. You try to get his attention by throwing an empty Coca Cola can at his head and very ironically missing. And you realize you might actually have to speak. Weird.

"Hey. I gotta go. GG's waitin on me, and I think her big bro's here too. The hot one." You can see Dirk twitch the slightest bit. He's always gonna have the hots for that total derp of a guy.

...

Whatever.

It happens.

You leave the booth that your bro is running, selling ironic shit and robots and disturbing smuppets, and make your way to the main entrance where you know they're gonna be. You see TT's dumb wizard outfit that is so unironically stylish and head in that direction, putting up your wireless Beats but not pressing 'play' on your iPhone. You don't need to. You look cool anyway. Bitchez.

"Dave Ironic Martha Strider..." Rose sees you first. She gives you a look of pure amusement, then spontaneously hugs you after a light punch on the arm. You pull away at this sudden sisterly affection, muttering that Striders don't need any of your fuckin love. She whispers that yeah, you don't need my love, gay boy. At that, you pull a poker face and turn to greet GG. She hugs you and at that moment, as you are staring over her shoulder, you see the cutest derp ever dressed in what you kinda hope is an ironic outfit.

Just kinda.

You pull your Beats down onto your shoulders and stare at the boy.

He stares back with intense blue eyes.

"Yo. Who's this kid, GG?" Jade looks at the boy.

Smiling, she says "That's John, the other dude I keep telling you about. His outfit is so kawaii! I could just eat him up!"

You silently agree that yes, you could just eat him up, but eating each other would have to be put on hold until later. Not everybody can taste this luscious flesh of yours. Only that derp right there can.

To GG, you say "Yeah, his outfit is Hawaii." To the derp, you say "What's your last name?"

"Uh, John Egbert. I mean Egbert." He shifts his feet around nervously and tugs at the hem of the too short shirt he's wearing. You gesture at his questionable accessory.

"What's that for, Egderp? Sex toy?"

He blushes such a deep crimson that it almost looks good in contrast to the rest of his pale pigment. He adjusts his nerdy glasses and shakes his head.

"I'm trying to look like Indiana Jones or some other adventurer, but my cousin"-he glares at the taller girl in the skirt, who just shrugs-"thinks thought that this outfit would be fiiiiine." You nod. That outfit is fiiiiine.

"Anyway, I'm Dave. I live out in Texas, but my bro has some jacked up company that sells these distur- I mean, ironically cool puppets, and he was asked to sell them out here at the Seattle Comicon. By the way, Egderp, you look really gay." As soon as that last comment leaves your lips, you realize it was the wrong thing to say. He pouts, and shoves his hands in his back pockets, unknowingly making himself look even more gay and adorable. You're so glad you wear these glasses; all the emotion for this kid would be showing in your eyes.

"I'm not a homosexual!" He says angrily. "How come everyone thinks I look gaaaayyy?" He whines, kinda sticking his butt out and leaning forward, and you find yourself trying to cover your blush with one hand and still look cool. Rose nudges you. "I see that fine layer of pink over your soft cheeks and smattering of freckles. You like him." You whirl around, trying to get a swing at her, but she slides gracefully away like the snake she is. "Shut up, Lalonde. No one needs your pschoanalysis shit." Jade giggles.

"I think you do toooo..." She jumps behind Egderp and grins from the safety of her human shield. John looks confused.

You are pretty sure you look mad.

You really hope you don't scare him.

He smiles at you, showing a slight overbite you hadn't noticed till now, and somehow you find yourself wondering what it's like to kiss someone with an overbite. But before you try to seduce him(seduce-haha!) you remind yourself that he is 'not a homosexual!' Instead, you grin back at him, then TT grabs you from behind, trying to wrestle your bro's ironic anime shades off your face. You, using the ninja skills you have honed to perfection(kinda), try to counter her attack by flipping her over your shoulder and slamming her back first onto the floor. Instead, the two of you end up in a tangled mess with Egderp and GG laughing at you.

Now the derp probably thinks you're a derp. Great. You hate looking stupid on front of people you like. You untangle yourself from the laughing Lalonde and push her over once she gets up again.

"Can we meet your bro?" John asks. You stare at him, and his cheeks turn pink. "If it's okay, I mean..."

"Yeah, Dave! Lets go see Dirk!" GG says excitedly as she pulls Rose up.

TT nods. "Yes, let's."

You reluctantly agree, but only cuz you wanna make the derp happy.

A few minutes later, you are introducing your friends to Dirk.

"This is Jade, you already know her. And you remember Rose, right?" He nods, keeping his eyes on Egderp.

"That's John Egderp. He's not a homosexual." You say, glancing at John out of the corner of your eye. John smiles at Dirk. Dirk just nods slightly, then turns to you and raises his eyebrows. "What is he, a mini Jake or somethin?" Dirk has always had an attractive slight southern drawl that peppers up his voice with irony and style... You are so jealous of him. And the fact that he may try to go after your derp kinda pisses you off.

"He does kinda look like Jake!" Jade says loudly. "Even that outfit is like something Jake would wear." Dirk nods slowly. You let out a long sigh. "He's not that derp of a guy, but I bet that Jake is gonna be here sometime..."

You can see Dirk's shoulders tense the slightest bit. And you allow yourself a tiny smile. John looks confused.

"Who's Jake?" He asks nobody in particular. You put your hand on his shoulder and explain.

"Jake English is GG's big bro, and also the only guy in the world 'hot' enough to make my bro lose his cool."

"So..." You can see the gears in Egderp's head turning, trying to manufacture a thought that puts together all the pieces of this puzzle.

"So, Dirk... Is gay? He doesn't look it at all. He could probably get any girl he wanted..." John looks at you for conformation. You nod at the same time Dirk does.

"Yeah. My bro is hot."

Sexy, even. You've always been pretty impressed with your bro's muscles and outfits and whatever the hell else makes him desirable.

"So is Jake gay too?" You look at Egderp, kinda suprised that was the one question he would ask.

You shrug. "We don't really know." He raises an eyebrow, giving his face a cute and sophisticated look.

Rose pulls on your arm. "Ask him for money! They're selling Snape wands over there. Jade's gonna want to get some furry ear headbands..." Then she pauses and you realize she is going to say something about John next. "Aaaand, I bet you want to get something for your little derp." Just to make her shut up, you turn to Dirk and hold out your hand. He slaps a fifty and a twenty into your hand, then asks for you to buy him a Diet Coca Cola. Of course diet. He wants to 'stay in shape' or some shit. You feel like you should too, but you just don't care anymore. But maybe you should. John is skinny. Jade is skinny. Rose is skinny. Are you skinny? You never really thought about that. What if you're really fat, and no one ever told you? In desperation, you turn to your friends as you are walking away from your brother and lift up your shirt.

"Am I fat?!"

They all stare at you, then John reaches out and pinches your stomach.

"No. I mean, like, you don't have any flab. I think you have some muscles, actually. Here, let me see your arm."

Like you are in a trance, you hold out your arm for him to feel. You flex slightly as he squeezes your upper arm. "Yeah, dude, you're not fat."

Jade feels your other arm and Rose pokes your belly. John then puts his hand on your chest and you feel yourself heat up. You can hear Dirk whistle at you and Jane giggle, and you glare at them over your shoulder, then thank your friends and pull your shirt down. John links his arm through yours and Jades and Rose grabs the back of your shirt and the four of you go traipsing off to the food court.

**AN: well, here we have it. Chapter 2wooooo! I hope you liked it! R&R, chums!**

**next chapter we meet Jake, Roxy, and some humanstuck trolls!**

**==LOV3**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3reeee==

==be John 

You felt kinda odd when you were touching Dave's chest... This guy that you barely know is giving you what Jade calls 'the feels' and you aren't even gay! As you are standing next to him at the food court and ordering food and sodas, he keeps looking over at you with this odd expression on his face... You turn to Rose and ask her what Dave's problem is. She smiles.

"He's so gay. And you are just his type, John." She wiggles her eyebrows like they do in that dancing eyebrow video.

"Rose, I doubt anyone could have a crush on me, much less Dave."

Rose just shrugs. You feel your cheeks heat up, and the next time Dave looks at you like that, you find yourself smiling back at him. He blushes and looks away quickly.

When all four of you are sitting down at the table together, you make a point to sit across from Dave. It's not that you don't like gay people, it's a little weird that your friend has a crush on you. You're just not comfortable sitting next to him.

Jade picks up her burger and bites into it, making a little noise of enjoyment. Rose eats a French fry. Dave pokes at his salad, still keeping one eye on you. You pick up your large hot dog, and turn it so you can bite one end of it without making that much of a mess. As you open your mouth wide for a second bite, you become aware of Dave watching you. You glance at him from across the table and he shifts in his seat, trying to get comfortable, you guess. Some ketchup from your hot dog gets on your fingers and you frown, then lick it off. Dave gulps audibly and takes a bite of his salad. Jade hands you a napkin.

"Oh, thanks. I forgot to grab one when were over there." She laughs.

"I forgot how forgetful you are, John!" Then she ponders that thought. "That sounded funny." You giggle. Rose glances at the two of you, and Dave eats a piece of lettuce.

He gets up abruptly. "I gotta go to the bathroom." Jade watches him walk away.

"He's been acting funny ever since he saw John."

"Astute observation, Jade. I believe he has a thing for John." Rose smirks. "And something John just did turned him on." You facepalm. Lifting your head up, you sigh.

"What the hell did I do to make a gay guy like me? I'm straight!" At least, you think you are. You mean, you've always liked girls, right? Well, besides that one episode in third grade, but you couldn't stop yourself. That boy was just so hot.

And then it hits you right in the balls.

You're probably bisexual.

==be the other boy

You are now Dave. You sit in the bathroom stall, not really going to the bathroom or doing pretty much anything. You feel like John is trying to turn you on, trying to be like that, trying to look gay... But he swears he's not. God damn all of your erotic fanasties and dirty thoughts that led you to this. Maybe you should ask Dirk about how to handle out of control feelings.

* * *

"Lil bro, are your feelins gettin the bestah you?" He asks before you can even open your mouth. You start to answer, then just nod silently. Dirk sighs. "Then why did you come to me. You know I can't get Jake, or even stop thinking about that fucker."

You then realize the error of your ways, and decide to go to a different person for advice... Roxy, Rose's mom. Dirk pats your shoulder and goes back to selling ironic shit.

* * *

A few minutes later, you are still looking for Roxy, who should be the easiest person to find. Loud, drunk, talking about wizards... Maybe you should check the Harry Potter crowd again.

And there she is.

Dressed in a 'sexy' witch outfit and clutching a martini... You remember the time when you ate the olive from one of those things. No. Just fucking no. That was the worst olive you will probably ever taste.

You reach her and grab her forearm. "Roxy." She looks down at you.

"Oh helloooo, son! You look just like yo daddy... The handsome Dirk."

You sigh. She's hopelessly drunk and surrounded by idiots with nerd complexes and pimples who think they may have a chance with her. Her hair is a mess and her boobs are falling out of her top, so she looks vaguely prostitutey. The drink finishes the look.

"Alright, Mom. I gotta talk to you right now, so all of these lovely people can go back to what they were doing." You pull Roxy's wand out of her hand and wave it at the manchilds that had been talking to her and now looked kinda disappointed that she had a 'son'. "Nerds, begone!"

You pull Roxy away to a bench at the side of the large room you are in. "Okay, Roxy, first: I am not your son and Dirk is gay. Second: you need to help me. Usually I would not talk to you or even be like this at all, so I hope you've realized there's something wrong. Which there fucking is. I just met this kid, alright? And he is fucking with my brain. Like not on purpose, cuz he keeps saying that he's not a fucking homo. So please. Help me, mother."

Roxy stares at you blankly. Then she giggles and pats your head.

"Yuo gotta, liek, maek out or sumpthin."

One clear thought pops into your head.

FUCK THIS.

* * *

==be the smart one

You are now Rose, and you really don't think that Dave should've just run off like that. If he actually liked John, he probably should've started his advances a little slower. And you doubt that he is actually that into John Egbert.

But who knows? John could've been love at first sight for Dave, but you've known Dave for so long now that you doubt it's even possible for him to be in love at first sight. He's not like Dirk at all, no matter what he says. Yeah, they both have swordkind, but that's about it besides appearances.

You eat another French fry. John takes another bite of his hot dog, then stares down at it.

"Hey, Jade. Can I tell you something? You don't have to leave, Rose. It's okay if you hear this." John took a deep breath. "Um, I think I might be... Um, bi." Jade smiles. You shrug. You figured that might be a side effect of Dave liking him. He already acted so gay.

"Oh John, I knew it! If you weren't gay already, then you were probably going to be bisexual!" Jade seemed faux happy about that, and it bothered you. You decide to ask her later.

* * *

==be the other girl

You are now Jade, and you knew that he was going to say that, and it makes you sad to know he's going to take it back. It breaks Dave heart. You hate knowing what is going to happen. It breaks your heart. It's the reason you wake up crying at night. You want to tell Dave so badly, but you know you shouldn't mess with the future. It's probably against the rules of Time and Space or something. And that bothers you too. Maybe you could tell just one person, just Rose, and maybe you'll feel so much better. You decide to talk to her later.

Jake knows about the dreams and the visions in the clouds, and he tells you to just live in the present.

But it's so hard to live now when you sleep in tomorrow, or even a month or a year from now.

Just then, you hear some loud talking that jolts you out of your thoughts.

"NOBODY GIVES ANY FUCKS, SOLLUX. WE ALL HATE THAT FUCKER, SO WHY DO YOU EVEN TALK ABOUT HIM. GAMZEE, WHERE'S THAT CASH FROM EARLIER? I WANT SOME OF THAT FAYGO SHIT. WHERE'S TAVROS?"

You sigh. It's them. You've been waiting to meet them for so long now, ever since that dream last year on your Birthday. Gamzee, Sollux, Tavros, Kanaya, and of course, Karkat. There are more, but you never caught their names.

You see the crowd of teenagers pass your table, and they all look stupid. Their fashion sense is so skewed.

Especially Gamzee's.

Then something you didn't foresee happens. A small, weak looking boy in a wheelchair comes rolling slowly by.

"uH, gUYS? pLEAS E WAIT UP! i'M SO TIRED. gAMZEE?" The boy almost breaks down in tears. John abruptly stands up and glares at the teenagers that the boy was obviously calling to. Then he walks to Wheelchair Boy and kneels down next to him.

"Hey, are those guys being mean to you?" The boy looks in the direction that the loud teenagers went.

"oH, uM, tHEY'RE MY FRIENDS."

John gives him a look that says, 'are they really?' Then he says, "I'm John. What's your name?" The boy runs his hand through his short faux hawk and tries a reluctant smile.

"i'M TAVROS NITRAM." They shake hands and John invites him to sit with the three of you. Tavros happily accepts and you give him some French fries. You introduce yourself and Rose starts a conversation with him about electric wheelchairs and how helpful they are. He explains that he is paralyzed from the waist down because of a fall that he took involuntarily. You sigh sadly and rub his arm.

A few minutes later, Karkat, the loud one, walks to your table. Tavros flinches before he even opens his mouth. Karkat's wild hair looks gelled, but in the clouds you saw him yelling about hating hair gel. That is the only memory of him, and you think you remember why. Your thoughts are interrupted by his loud voice, as was your dream so long ago.

"TAVROS, STAY AWAY FROM STRANGERS. VRISKA WILL BE PISSED IF I DON'T KEEP AN EYE ON YOU. AND YOU"-he flips his middle finger to you and your friends-" FUCK OFF." John looks like he's about bash Karkat's head in, and then you stand up at the same time Rose does... But all three of you are too late to respond.

* * *

==be the cool guy

You are now Dave. As you are walking back to the table after an epic fail for a mother told you make out with the kid you have a crush on, you see some kids you don't know at your table and realize that the one kid appears to be bullying your friends and the other kid in the wheelchair. You approach cautiously and come up behind the bully once you realize he is no great threat and pat his shoulder.

"Why don't you just leave them the fuck alone, bitch." The bully is obviously startled that someone would talk to him like that, and is about to counter your attack when a seemingly random girl in red oval glasses comes up behind Bullykid and hits him with her walking stick on the head.

"WHO 4R3 YOU BULLY1NG NOW, K4RK4T?" She giggles. Then she walks closer to you and sniffs you, making you extremely uncomfortable. You shy away from the unwanted attention and walk quickly to stand next to Jade and John, and the former looks at you with sadness lurking in her large green eyes, while the latter smiles up at you with happiness in his huge blue eyes. Rose simply stares daggers at that jerk that should "FUCK OFF" himself.

And then, as the bully, Karkat, is being told off by Walking Stick Girl, you see your bro walking next to a familiar person...

A person who looks a lot like Jade and John put together and aged a few years. The one and only Jake English. Then you notice your brother's face, which is extremely flushed and has a hand-caught-in-the-cookie-jar look. Dammit, Dirk. Why can't you just keep your hands to yourself for once. Jake seemed happy, but looked as if he was speaking to Dirk in a condescending tone, like a strict parent to a misbehaving child.

Karkat stares in horror at Dirk and his muscles... and immeaditly backs away from the table, earning a smile from Walking Stick Girl. Jake glares at him, and then smiles at Jade.

"Hello, love. Are you enjoying yourself?" Jake asks in his crisp british accent that drives Dirk crazy. Jade smiles and nods happily... A little too happily. Jake looks concerned for a split second, then squeezes Dirk's hand.

* * *

==be the derpy one

You are now John, and you think you should talk to Dave about the whole bisexual thing. Rose is either entirely too amused with the way you and Dave are looking at each other or is psychoanalyzing the situation the four of you have fallen into, and Jade's eyes are scaring you. There is darkness lingering in the depths of them, and you knew there was something wrong.

Dirk, meanwhile, was getting up in Karkat's face about the bullying while the boy you guessed was Jake engaged the two other boys that had been with Karkat and Tavros in a conversation. He seemed to be explaining either a TV show or the ending to an anime, because he was using large arm gestures and was exciting facial expressions, but his one eye was always trained on the rest of you, Jade in particular. You notice the thigh holster that is, obviously, around his thigh and how short his shorts are and you point that out to Dave, who laughs and nods.

"What is he, a dude Laura Croft?" Dave jokes. Jade glares at him.

"Jake taught me everything I know about fighting, and remind me how many times I have whipped your 'cool' ass? Oh, that's right, every single time we brawl, loser." You giggle at Dave's defeated expression, then ask if Jade can introduce you to Jake. She calls him over, and he shakes your hand.

"Hello, chum. I'm Jake English. And you are..." You are distracted by his accent, and forget what you're supposed to say when someone asks your name.

"Uhh... My name iiiiss... John! John Egbert. Sir. It's nice to meet you." Jake laughed.

"It's nice to meet you too, sir. I hope we can become good friends." He pats you on the head, and for a split second he seems like a protective brother and you love that feeling.

==be the bully

You are now Karkat Vantas, and you are scared that this is a bad descison. Your friends are being complete idiots, getting all buddy buddy with a stranger. Right now, you are trying to keep your cool as a muscley version of the dweeb over there in the sunglasses and Terezi start to yell at you for bullying. Terezi cackles and it gives you shivers down your spine as you try to back away from the situation. But before you can escape, the muscley brother raises an eyebrow and says, "Kid, you better say sorry to my brother and his friends."

Gamzee looks over and notices you are being, well, kinda threatened. And you know that Gamzee actually does care about what happens to you, so you plead with your eyes and back away slowly. Gamzee cocks an eyebrow and walks over to Muscles.

"WhAt'Re Ya DoInG tO My MoThErFuCkInG bEsT fRiEnD?" He slurs. You realize then that even Gamzee would not be able to beat this guy in a fight, so you prepare for the worst like the coward you are as Muscles turns to stare at Gamzee...

==be the dude Laura Croft

You are now Jake English. You are talking to Rose, John, Tavros and Dave while holding Jade's hand to comfort her. You worry about her dreams, and hope they do not effect her brilliant mind. You love your little sister and want her to be able to live a normal and healthy life, even though you are so isolated on that island of yours and you communicate only through PesterChum. And of course, Bec can take you anywhere you want to go; you just have to catch him in an agreeable mood.

Which is kind of hard.

So even though you would like to be a bit more than just chums with Dirk, you are holding yourself back so he doesn't have to deal with the insanely long distance relationship. But oddly enough, all he does is touch you and talk to/about you. Weird.

But nevertheless, you try to keep him out of trouble.

"Oh, John, the-" you break off mid-sentence when you see Dirk and the clown start to get in each other's faces. "Sorry, love, you'll have to wait a second." You squeeze Jade's hand and stand up. You know Dirk sees you out of the corner of his eye, but he continues to talk hostilely to the clown and the bully. You hear the boy they introduced as Tavros start to tell you that "uHH, gAMZEE IS DANGEROUS," but you ignore him and walk to Dirk and Clown. How bad could a guy like that be?

You put a hand on Dirk's arm and clear your throat. He looks at you with adoration in his eyes.

"It's not worth it." You tell him.

Then you turn to the Clown, who you now recognize as one of the kids you were speaking to earlier. He gives you a lazy smile, and you realize he looks drunk or high. Hm.

"I'm sorry, there must have been a misunderstanding. If we offended you"-at this point you turn to the bully-"then please, let us know. I enjoy fighting just as much as the next man, but sometimes it's just not the right answer. Dirk, please apologize and I'm sure that these *presumably* nice young men will have the courtesy to do the same."

You love being able to control situations.

Dirk immeaditly obliges and says sorry to the teenagers. The bully hesitates, then, after a stern look from you, he gives a painfully sarcastic smile and turns to the kids.

"OH, I APOLOGIZE FOR ANYTHING I MIGHT HAVE DONE THAT COULD'VE OFFENDED YOU. PLEASE, TAKE MY AND GAMZEE''S APOLOGIES AND- SHOVE THEM UP YOUR ASS." He says it all with a joyous expression on his face. Gamzee grins sleepily, kinda slouches back so he is standing at a 45 degree angle, and winks at Tavros. The boy in the wheelchair blushes and smiles back.

You frown. Dirk cracks his knuckles.

A/N: sorry if it seems like I'm doing something weird with John and Daves relationship but DO NOT FEAR I WILL MAKE EVERYTHING OKAY I KNOW WHAT I AM DERPING.

I found something similar to a Juju at a Goodwill... The only cherubs around were the ones on the century old teapot in the corner of the ceramic section, but I still bought it and drew myself as a trickster.

==LOV3


End file.
